Thank God It’s Not January Anymore
The end of 2013 and beginning of 2014 has been quite
possibly the most difficult time of my entire, ancient, eon-spanning (according
to my daughter) existence. Spending a
month being reminded by anonymous people on the internet that my problems are
my own fault, and that I am stupid (amazing how often that word was used) and naive and gullible, has been humbling and
somewhat depressing.
If anyone is reading this blog wondering if I’m
going to use this as a platform to fire back, or defend myself overly, you’re
going to be disappointed. I say only two
things: 1. People are right—I am stupid, naive, and gullible; and 2. It is
still wrong to blame the victim. Always.
The remainder of my time in January seemed to be
spent getting beaten up by lower elementary school kids and trying to write
again. I had more success with the
little kids than with the writing.
The kindergarten kids, led by my niece, Audrey, jumped, fell down, counted, rolled, and
flipped me on my head with such enthusiasm that my head was still spinning four
days later. Wow! At least they liked
me. Perhaps the secret to my being
popular is letting people beat me up…that certainly explains my wife claiming to
be in love with me…J
The younger elementary students also enjoyed dumping
each other on their rear ends, and even relished, for the most part, taking
spectacular “falls” for their partners.
The semi-obligatory “victory dances” after each move needed filmed and
put on youtube. Some of these farm kids
got moves!
All too soon, my time at West Branch Schools was
over, and I had to truck the mats back home, and leave Mr. Arp’s kids to his
nefarious devices again. Next year, West
Branch!
After that, being stuck in snow and cold covered
Iowa began to overwhelm me…three weekends in a row without performing at a
convention, during the worst weather of the year, with motorcycle riding
completely out of the question, have made me the housebound writer from
hell. Remember Jack Nicholson from The
Shining? Yeah, like that, only without those two creepy twins to talk to…
However, we are on to February! It’s time to start
looking for signs of spring (yeah, right!) and a certain flying archer, known
to hover around flower shops and candy stores around the country. I suspect my wife of having an ongoing
relationship with this terrifying menace, and I believe that the two of them
plot against me every year. From jewelry
to flowers, chocolates, musical balloons (don’t ask!), and dates that involved
the puppies, my Valentine’s Days have been a conspiracy against my sanity and
pocketbook that has gone on for years.
And I have only one thing to say about that: IT’S
WORTH IT! I love Valentine’s Day. Seeing
Jillian’s eyes light up when I do something right is so awesome. Makes me think that I should do that more
often…J
This weekend we will be performing at Kawa-Kon in
St. Louis, and I can’t wait! In addition to our usual con shows and panels, I
get to sit in on a Japanese ghost/monster storytelling panel, and tell a scary
story. After much deliberation about which
tale I should tell, I regretfully passed on my mother-in-law story and decided
on an oni versus samurai conflict, which I thought was pretty close to the same
thing (I love you, Theresa, really!).
We also get to bring our lovable fuzzy beasts along,
so Naya and Kuma will be upstaging me at every turn, stealing hearts (and
treats) and generally being adorable. So
really, it’s a mixed blessing. I love
the dogs, and hate leaving them home while we travel, but is it too much to ask
that people like me, and not just fawn over the fuzzies?