Thank God It's Not January Anymore

Thank God It’s Not January Anymore

The end of 2013 and beginning of 2014 has been quite possibly the most difficult time of my entire, ancient, eon-spanning (according to my daughter) existence.  Spending a month being reminded by anonymous people on the internet that my problems are my own fault, and that I am stupid (amazing how often that word was used) and naive and gullible, has been humbling and somewhat depressing.

If anyone is reading this blog wondering if I’m going to use this as a platform to fire back, or defend myself overly, you’re going to be disappointed.  I say only two things: 1. People are right—I am stupid, naive, and gullible; and 2. It is still wrong to blame the victim. Always.

The remainder of my time in January seemed to be spent getting beaten up by lower elementary school kids and trying to write again.  I had more success with the little kids than with the writing. 

The kindergarten kids, led by my niece, Audrey,  jumped, fell down, counted, rolled, and flipped me on my head with such enthusiasm that my head was still spinning four days later.  Wow! At least they liked me.  Perhaps the secret to my being popular is letting people beat me up…that certainly explains my wife claiming to be in love with me…J

The younger elementary students also enjoyed dumping each other on their rear ends, and even relished, for the most part, taking spectacular “falls” for their partners.  The semi-obligatory “victory dances” after each move needed filmed and put on youtube.  Some of these farm kids got moves!

All too soon, my time at West Branch Schools was over, and I had to truck the mats back home, and leave Mr. Arp’s kids to his nefarious devices again.  Next year, West Branch!

After that, being stuck in snow and cold covered Iowa began to overwhelm me…three weekends in a row without performing at a convention, during the worst weather of the year, with motorcycle riding completely out of the question, have made me the housebound writer from hell.  Remember Jack Nicholson from The Shining? Yeah, like that, only without those two creepy twins to talk to…

However, we are on to February! It’s time to start looking for signs of spring (yeah, right!) and a certain flying archer, known to hover around flower shops and candy stores around the country.  I suspect my wife of having an ongoing relationship with this terrifying menace, and I believe that the two of them plot against me every year.  From jewelry to flowers, chocolates, musical balloons (don’t ask!), and dates that involved the puppies, my Valentine’s Days have been a conspiracy against my sanity and pocketbook that has gone on for years. 

And I have only one thing to say about that: IT’S WORTH IT! I love Valentine’s Day.  Seeing Jillian’s eyes light up when I do something right is so awesome.  Makes me think that I should do that more often…J

This weekend we will be performing at Kawa-Kon in St. Louis, and I can’t wait! In addition to our usual con shows and panels, I get to sit in on a Japanese ghost/monster storytelling panel, and tell a scary story.  After much deliberation about which tale I should tell, I regretfully passed on my mother-in-law story and decided on an oni versus samurai conflict, which I thought was pretty close to the same thing (I love you, Theresa, really!).

We also get to bring our lovable fuzzy beasts along, so Naya and Kuma will be upstaging me at every turn, stealing hearts (and treats) and generally being adorable.  So really, it’s a mixed blessing.  I love the dogs, and hate leaving them home while we travel, but is it too much to ask that people like me, and not just fawn over the fuzzies?